Discovering Self-Discovery

Let’s start by defining the term limiting belief. Limiting beliefs are internalized beliefs about oneself that hinder action, often to one’s own detriment. Not only can they stop us from taking action, but they can also block our ability to fully recognize our self-worth and accept self-love. They can manifest as labels, rigid assumptions, and mental blocks. These beliefs are inherently negative.

The first thing you should do is identify what your limiting beliefs are. Make sure you cover all your bases. Think about things you want to do, the kind of person you want to be, and how you wish to be perceived. Then ask yourself: What self-imposed labels or narratives are standing in the way of these goals? Those are your limiting beliefs. To give you some examples, here are some of my own limiting beliefs: bad communicator, all or nothing person, uncoordinated, quiet, bad writer, slow, introvert, math and science person, and procrastinator. And, of course, the phrase I’m just that (or not that) type of person, which can be applied to many different things. Even though some of these may not sound inherently negative, they all contradict the version of myself I want to become or how I want to be perceived. Everyone’s ideal self is different. Two people can desire completely different qualities — that doesn’t make one better than the other. It just means that, for me, those qualities don’t align with who I want to be.

So now that we’ve identified our limiting beliefs, where do they come from? Well, they can come from all kinds of places: ourselves, society, childhood experiences, or even reality. For example, I am slow— and it’s true. I have a processing disorder, that I get reevaluated for every four years. It just means my brain processes things more slowly than others’. “I’m a bad communicator” is just something I’ve told myself since I started self-isolating. Society made me believe that if I’m naturally good at math and science, I can’t be good at or enjoy writing. My family and I don’t only share physical appearance, but also many personality traits. Growing up, when I felt insecure or out of place, I was often reassured by hearing, “That’s just how we are — quiet introverts. We don’t like being in groups or being the center of attention. Learn to accept it.” Dig deep. A lot of the time, you might not even know why you believe something about yourself — you just do. It will take time and reflection, but it will be worth it.

The next step is to ask yourself: Which limiting beliefs are holding you back? Which ones keep you from fully loving or accepting yourself? Which ones might be true, but are in tension with your goals or desires? And most importantly — what do you want to do with your limiting beliefs? Sometimes, the path forward means changing a belief. Other times, it means accepting a truth while adjusting your expectations or finding a new route. You can choose to challenge, rewrite, or reframe the belief — or even work around it in a way that still allows you to grow.

I used to tell myself I was a procrastinator. So, whenever I procrastinated, I felt there was nothing I could do about it. That was a belief I decided to let go of. Being uncoordinated once stopped me from fully loving myself — I was embarrassed by it. Now, I don’t care — it doesn’t stop me from learning K-pop dances! My all-or-nothing mindset isn’t something I dislike, but at times, it pigeonholes me. I’ve learned to recognize and acknowledge it without letting it take over. Every limiting belief shows up differently — in its effect, intensity, and frequency. Therefore, each one will require a different approach. Usually, once you trace where a belief originated, it becomes easier to decide how to handle it — though some can be trickier than others. Be thorough and thoughtful.

Everything we just talked about is the first step in overcoming limiting beliefs. You can’t begin the process of change unless you know what these beliefs are, where they come from, and what you want to do with them. In the next part, I’ll dive into how to overcome, accept, or integrate limiting beliefs into your life — so you can begin building a self-image that supports your growth, not one that holds you back.