Discovering Self-Discovery

Where does the pressure to choose the normal path come from? That push to do what’s “smart,” “secure,” “realistic”—even when every part of you wants to do something different, feels you’re meant for something else. Is it something we put on ourselves, or does it stem from society’s expectations?

I think it’s a little of both: society instigates it, while we internalize and exacerbate it. We’re praised for being practical, for following the blueprint. For doing what we should.

I’ve never felt like I needed to have it all together in every area—like mental health, working out, relationships. Maybe that’s because I’ve seen my mom struggle with those things too, even while being professionally successful. It’s like the message was: as long as your career is thriving, the rest can be messy. And honestly, I get it. Your job is what funds your life. It shapes your days. It’s a big deal.

But what do you do when the thing that lights you up the most—creativity, storytelling, design, freedom—doesn’t come with a steady paycheck?

What if the kind of work you want to do isn’t exactly… stable?

I’ve been told (lovingly) that I should get a secure job. A marketing job, in my case. And my next two years are neatly mapped toward that future: a study abroad year in Seoul, joining the Marketing in Honors program, a marketing internship, and a final year of finishing honors, major, and minor requirements. On paper, it looks like everything’s falling into place.

But emotionally? It feels like I’m barreling toward a cliff.

There’s this voice in my head saying: “You’ll get a job, and then you’ll be stuck. No more time for dreaming. No more room to pivot. Just wake up, work, repeat. Climb the ladder.”

I know that’s not entirely true. I know people who build their passion projects on the side. I know careers can evolve. But the fear is real, especially being an all-or-nothing type of person. And the pressure to “make the smart choice” can be deafening—especially when it comes from people you love. My mom just wants me to be safe, successful, and okay. And I don’t want to let her down, but I also don’t want to let myself down.

So here I am—torn between what I should do and what I want to do.

To anyone else in this duel between security and soul, here are some things I’m trying to remind myself of:

You are not wrong for wanting more than stability. You’re not lazy. You’re not immature. You’re not unrealistic. You’re just someone who wants their life’s work to feel like life, not just work.

You’re allowed to try. You’re allowed to risk. You’re allowed to believe your creative voice has value. That your passion deserves a shot. Even if it doesn’t work right away. Even if it means stepping off the “normal” path. It’s your life.

And if you still take the job—the marketing role, the 9-to-5—you’re not selling out. You’re surviving. Just don’t forget your dream in the process. Don’t stop listening to that inner voice that says, there’s something more.